The Root of All Evil

My friends, I think I have discovered the source of the “WOMAN, WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS” conflict.

Yesterday I was shopping at H&M and couldn’t find leggings to save my life. It’s H&M for heaven’s sake. Shouldn’t every purchase come with free leggings at that store? Anyway. I asked a salesperson to take me to legging land* and where did he bring me? To a wall of tights.

Let me break it down:

I asked for the leggings which are pants.**
He gave me tights which are decidedly NOT PANTS.

This really was a wall of tights with rows of packages that were all clearly labeled TIGHTS. Due to sufficient labeling, I still would have been guilty of poor pants judgement if I skipped off to the register with semi opaque tights instead of thick, completely opaque leggings. However, they had some really cute colors hanging up there, and had I really wanted to believe they were leggings, the salesperson’s endorsement would have been enough to let me carry on in no pants denial.

I know this fails to explain the flagrant no pants infractions we all see on a daily basis, but the girls who are somewhere in between? Be kind, because they may have ben led unwittingly down the “WOMAN, WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS” path.

*I know. Don’t worry, I didn’t phrase it that way. But I just thought of it and can’t stop giggling.

**Shut up. Yes, they are.***

***But, please, still cover yer bum. 

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